The Tragic Tails of pain and Babysitting
by Missy Kitty Cat
Summary: When Roy asks Ed to babysit all hell breaks loose. When The Ten year old had a little bit of a dislikeing for babysitters, Ed's in for a load of fun.[Oneshot]


Mmkays before you start flaming me on how its impossible that Roy's adopt a kid well just so you know. I don't care! If you need a reason Its listed right there See the bold print below.

**Roy felt guilty for all the inocent lives he took, When he found the five year old known as Renee, he decided to use her as a way to repent for his sins.**

**Disclaimers:** I do not own Fullmetal Alchemist or any of the characters in it, but Renee is a character I own. She's My Violent Adorible-ness.

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A gloved metal appendage rapped irritably on the hinged wooden slab, the short alchemist waiting for someone to answer the door. Why the hell was he here again? Oh. Right... Mustang ordered him to babysit. Not that he didn't mind, he always had a soft spot for kids, but he wasn't the Taisa's personal babysitter and besides, when the hell did he get a kid? This was the first he'd heard of it. As he waited a small female voice called out: "Coming!"

The door swiftly opened, a small girl around the age of ten standing in the doorway. Large honey eyes stared up at the older blonde. "Hello. Welcome," she greeted bowing slightly. A smile graced her features, though something was off about it...

He stared at the child who answered the door. Ed was told that the Taisa's daughter wasn't biologically his, he had adopted her. He didn't know why Mustang had adopted this girl, for all Ed knew he could have been using the kid for his own social purposes.

The Taisa would normally never adopt a kid, he didn't adopt her for the reason of having a child of his own. He found the kid, five years old, parentless and with no one no one there to care of her, in the ruins of a city destroyed by the military. He was soft, though, he never liked to show it...

"So... are you the babysitter?" the girl asked sweetly.

"Yeah..." he muttered, looking around for the Taisa.

"Come in then," she ordered.

He obeyed, still wondering where the Taisa was. As the man finally came into view Ed immediately stomped over to him. "When'd you get a kid, Mustang? Pick her up for the women?" Ed questioned furiously.

A smirk traced over the man's lips, his obsidian eyes holding their usual mocking appearance. "Edward, I'm hurt. I do have a heart, though I don't show it," retorted the older man.

The girl trudged over to her dad's side, hugging him goodbye. He placed an appendage on her hair fingers weaving through the sandy tresses. "Be good, Renee," he stated, the girl breaking the embrace, Roy's limbs falling to his sides as he stepped past her.

She spun around to watch him leave. Roy stopped briefly at Ed's side. "Have fun," he whispered. The tone his voice held... it sent shivers down the blond's spine.

Have fun? What exactly did he mean by that? He wondered what he'd gotten himself into... He stared out the door. Mustang gave a wave to his adopted child as he went out the door, which she returned, shutting it after him. He blinked, wanting to flee... something wasn't right.

He turned around and as he did a small rough object planted right in the center of his forehead. It bounced from his skin, leaveing a reddened mark right above his nose. He reached down and picked the item up, straightening to stare at the thing. A rock? Who the hell threw this? Instinctively his gaze moved from the rock to Renee. "Did you throw this?" he asked slowly, actually remaining calm. If only for the moment.

She gave a nod, a mischevious grin spreading on her lips. "Yes, I did," she annouced proudly.

"Why the hell did you throw it for!" he practically screamed, flailing his arms, face reddened from his anger.

"Dad said not to throw books, and your face /was/ calling to meet the nice little rock," was Mustang's adoptive daughter's response.

"So he told you to throw rocks instead?" scoffed the blond, a fierce scowl evident on his face.

"Yup!" she exclaimed.

The lower lid of his left eye twitched in annoyance. This was going to be a painful and long night...

He had finally had enough of getting pelted with rocks. An hour straight! This girl wasn't going to get bored of this anytime soon... He had to think fast: his face was full of scattered bruises from where the rocks hit. "How about we play hide and seek," Ed suggested. Maybe this would get the girl away from pelting him with rocks. "You're it!"

He bolted immediately from the room, leaving the girl staring off after him, surprised he had fit. Already he could hear them, just outside, though, almost to soft to be heard. He did hear them either way. The stride of foot steps from the girl in the kitchen... Renee was so close, way too close for his safety. How had she found him so easily? His heart raced, jumping into his throat. He didn't want her to find him.. She'd pelt him with rocks again wouldn't she? Or would it get worse? The foot steps halted. Was she waiting for him to make a sound, or had she left?

After a few minute passed, Ed heaved a relieved sigh, finally relaxing from his tense state. Light immediately poured into the once-dark cupboard, blinding the blonde.The small female was kneeling, grinning at him with one hand on the door so she was holding the outside handle, and the other wrapped around a large wooden spoon. "Found you! Enjoying the cupboard?" she questioned, but Renee didn't wait for him to reply before she shut the door, shoving the spoon through the handles.

It took probably around a little more then thirty minutes of squirming around in the cramped, enclosed space until he got to a position where he could get his hands together and perform alchemy to free himself. Only fifteen minutes left of his nightmarish time here. In fifteen minutes the Taisa would be home and he himself could go home. He didn't care about his pay for babysitting her at the moment. He just wanted to get as far away as he could from Renee. (After this little 'experience', the short blond would be emotionally scarred for life thanks to this one ten year old.)

He was exhausted, tired from his long day. Renee sure had a lot of energy. He was thankful she had finally left him alone. As soon as he flopped into one of the kitchen chairs, he passed out, eyes lids falling over glazed eyes. When he finally awakened, he found that when he tried to stand something had bound him to the chair. He looked back, discovering ropes tied around his wrists, hands in a way he couldn't use alchemy.

His attention shot up at Renee, who was watching him with a grin on her face. And hanging over her shoulders was...His crimson coat! The hem was dragging on the floor behind her, it was so big. Standing behind her was..

Mustang.

He was already home? The grin on his face made him want to send his fist toward the man's face and wipe the smirk right off. "Did you have a nice nap?" asked the smug older and taller alchemist. Ed growled glaring between him and the child. Adopted or not, this girl was a Mustang. The next thing the blond knew, he was freed from his bonds and was being shoved out the door as Roy muttered something about "seeing him next weekend". As Roy shut the door behind him, Edward could see that girl grinning triumphantly.

Next weekend could wait.


End file.
